I'm taking a few minutes - just a few - to spill out what is going through my head right now. A dangerous hurricane is bearing down on us right now. It didn't seem so serious to me until today. Oh, I felt some panic ... some fear ... but not really the gravity of all that had to be done to prepare and all the possible effects of it.
We are staying in our home. There is no mandatory evacuation for us, so we are getting ready to wait it out. In our particular area, the hope and expectation is that it won't be too bad, even though this is a terrible storm that has already killed hundreds. But it should stay off the coast an we are pretty far inland, so ....
Still there are preparations to make ... many things to do. Nothing can be left outside that can become airborne. This has been a difficult, timely work for us because we had a porch full of junk, and a garage even more full of junk. It has taken moving things around, fitting things in ... and a lot of it will be going to the curb next garbage day. Because of all the food supplies coming in, and the time off today, I've cleaned through the pantry, thrown out way outdated food, and so on. We're bleaching and cleaning out tubs, organizing stuff all over the house, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.
And it hit me this afternoon: These things - cleaning, throwing things out, organizing, and more - are all things I should have been doing all along. I had severely neglected these things, but now, when life is out of control, when things are unpredictable, when they could get very, very bad - I feel like I have to get back to the way things should have been all along.
I've also begun praying again, reading my Bible again, refocusing my eyes on the One who holds the wind and rains ... who is bigger than the storms. I've been in a severe spiritual drought - one brought on by a crazy schedule and sustained because of my own apathy and poor choices. But now in the face of a disaster ... where else do I go? There is no other hope. Nothing else that will sustain. There is no one else who can protect me when I can't even protect myself.
I realized that there is blessing in a coming disaster. As you watch it on approach, as you see the devastation that it is bringing and remember times when other disasters have unleashed their worst on others, in the fear of what the unknown brings you begin to do the necessary things that you had quit doing. You focus on the people you love. You clean up things that have become cluttered and unattended. You recognize the places where you are helpless and you seek out the help you need.
And so, even before the worst hits, I am grateful for it ... for this coming disaster ... for this test of trust and faith. I am grateful for the way I will see God work, no matter the outcome. I am grateful that I know what my eternal future holds, even if I don't know what my immediate one does. I am grateful for the storm, which reminds me that my God is more powerful, more intense, more in control of all of this. And I pray that this lesson will not leave my focus quickly ... after the storm has passed.
