An Odd Lenten Sacrifice

February 15, 2016

I have been fighting God for a while. His call to me to give up my other love came years ago. It came with the benefits clearly laid out. There was no mistaking what He was asking me to do. I just didn’t want to give up my idol.

I tried to think ways around it. I could cut back … could just manage it more carefully … could limit the content. I would control it. I could keep it from controlling me. But isn’t that the irony of idol worship? Even though it is a false god of our own making … an excuse for us to rule our own lives so we don’t have to give all the control up to God … even though our idol is only a thing with no rule of its own, it still quickly takes over and rules and controls us.

God’s admonishment has been clear in my head. There is no cutting back on idol worship.  Idols are built on appetites, and appetites are only eliminated one way: by starving them. I could see it again and again in my recollections of the practice of God’s people – the only way to leave idol worship was to leave it completely. Any remnant of it would only drag them back into false worship. Only cleansing oneself and one’s life of it would restore him to God’s fellowship and blessings. Worship is all or not real.

The idols each person serves are different. After all, the things that our hands make to worship and serve can be as different as the hands that are making them. My most insidious one is any kind of mental escape – right now television and other forms of screen time, although fiction books can quickly take their place as well. Most people might discount these as harmless, maybe even wonder if I’ve gone a little too radical in my interpretation of idolatry. But God and I – we know my heart. For me, modes of escape are like alcohol to a functioning alcoholic. It seems OK to those on the outside, but inside I’m wasting away and losing my effectiveness and failing to live life to its fullest. TV has robbed me in the past years – of sleep, of productivity, of thinking, … and most of all of time with Jesus.

And that is what I want most … Jesus. Do I love Him enough to give up this thing? No, actually I don’t. It’s scary to admit that to myself … even scarier to admit it in print to an unknown world of readers. I know I don’t love Him enough … but I want to. And I do know He deserves to be loved that much. So this year, for Lent, I’m giving up screen time. And my hope is that at the end of 40 days, it will be so clear why it is worth it!