To Share or Not to Share: the Danger of Going Public

February 16, 2016

Ordinarily I wouldn’t be sharing my Lenten sacrifice. I love the idea of practicing Lent, even though it has never been a commonly observed practice in the circles I’ve practiced my faith within. But I love the idea of focusing on Easter and on Jesus ultimate sacrificial expression of love by making a sacrifice myself in the days leading up to it. But I believe in practicing it quietly and privately so that I’m not prone to boasting or to trying to appear “spiritual.”

Not that either of those has ever been a real risk. My participation in Lent has not had a stellar track record. In the past, when I’ve even remembered that Lent was upon me, I’ve chosen something relatively painless – kind of a “token sacrifice.”

Well, OK. Not really a sacrifice at all.

I just didn’t want to fail. I wanted to be successful – to prove to myself and to Jesus that I love Him and am able to give Him something little. How discouraging it has been to realize, again and again, that I don’t even love Him enough to give up chocolate or sodas or some other little trinket.

So when I heard Him speaking to my heart to give up entertainment … something that I’ve become aware is HUGE for me … I did a bit of arguing with myself, and then with God. But a few nights ago, in the middle of the night, as my spirit continued to wrestle with this even while the rest of me tried to sleep a few thoughts hit me:

• If I am unable to give up little things, then there is NO WAY I can give up this big thing … so if I do, and I succeed … it is ALL GOD WHO ENABLED IT!
• With Lent falling right around Valentine’s Day this year, what better time is there to choose to love my Beloved? (I began my fast on Valentine’s Day.)
• If Jesus is worthy of my love, then He is worth something important to me … even if it shouldn’t be so important.

So here I am, doing something crazy … something radical … something audacious … for the One I want my heart to love the most!

And why am I doing it so publicly (because a blog is pretty public!)? I don’t want you to see how spiritual I am … because I’m really not. No, really. I’m not. Oh, I know a good bit about the Bible (that’s all been grace and providence, not me), and I have successfully clung to Jesus for more than 30 years (or more like, He’s clung to me!), but when God and I look through my heart, we both see pretty clearly that I am anything but spiritual. I want to love Him more than anything … but my heart clamors for too many other things … and I need that to change.

I’m also not doing this to boast. Let me be clear: if I succeed at this … WHEN God gives me success in this … it will be because HE has done something I could never have done. Remember, I can’t even go a couple days without chocolate. Only a real, loving, concerned God can enable me to do something this humongous!

So watch with me. I’m sure I’ll surprise us both my days of success and moments (or maybe also days) of failures. But maybe we will both get a glimpse of what living a holy life really looks like … in real life. I’m trusting God for this!