When I Begin to Hear More Clearly...

February 19, 2016

I know I'm on the right track when I begin waking up in the middle of the night or early in the morning with the Lord on my mind. It means my heart and mind are being renewed and He is becoming the focus of my thinking instead of me. This morning I woke up to this song by Todd Agnew. I think these words in the lyrics hit me hardest:

Shepherd, Your sheep are lostWe chased our wants that we thought were needsAnd now we can't get homeShepherd, Your sheep are longingWe ate and we ran and then we played and we danced, but we're emptyWe need to hear Your voiceWhatever You might sayWe just need to hear Your voiceShow us the way, won't You show us the way(second verse of "Shepherd," by Todd Agnew)

In just a few moments in my half-sleepy brain, my heart meditated on the cry of the song, prayed to the Lord for an answer to my continued feeling of separation, and got an answer:

Sin.

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,whose sin is covered.Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted awaythrough my groaning all day long.For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;my strength was dried upfn as by the heat of summer. Selah I acknowledged my sin to you,and I did not cover my iniquity;I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah Therefore let everyone who is godlyoffer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;surely in the rush of great waters,they shall not reach him.You are a hiding place for me;you preserve me from trouble;you surround me with shouts of deliverance.                                               Psalm 32:1-7

I KNOW this! Sin is always the first place I should look when I feel like the Lord has moved away from me. It is always the first culprit to suspect when I feel the Lord's absence. (He is not really absent, my awareness of His presence is just dulled and blocked by my sin.) 

So I guess I have something to pursue with my free time this weekend: soul searching and confession. The "down-time" of the weekend my not move as slowly as I was worried about it being!